The Essential Guide to Scotch Whisky

In chapter 7 I already gave you some ideas on how to spend your money on malt whisky.
How much you want to spend on your first experiences is entirely up to you, but if you're
anything like me you'll soon find yourself going back for more - and then yet some more...
When you choose your bottles, keep in mind that age doesn't improve everything.

Hey - What are you still doing here? This section of Malt Madness is strictly for beginners!
And after working your way through nine chapters of trivial trivia about single malt Scotch
whisky (and hopefully a few bottles as well) you can no longer claim to be a 'beginner' in
the whisky world. But before you go off gallivanting through maltland (and the rest of this
website) there are just a few last bits of wisdom and experience I'd like to share with you.

I personally prefer the 12yo Balvenie Doublewood over its 15yo sibling for example.
An older whisky isn't necessarily 'better' than a younger one; especially if you're not too
fond of the very pronounced woody character that some older malts get after spending
twenty years or more in an oak cask. Although older doesn't always mean better, most
of the time it does equal a considerable financial bloodletting - so caution is advisable.

Is it worth it? Well, that's not for me to decide - it all depends on the size
of your curiosity and your wallet. My advice to all you 'beginners' out there
would be to start with some more reasonably priced single malt whiskies.

Alternatively, insecure beginners could try to trust someone
else's senses. I guess you could try to teach your dog how to
smell your whisky for you, but in this case I was thinking more
along the lines of trusting the noses & palates of the certified
malt maniacs and/or myself. Just browse around the rest of
this website for tasting notes on thousands of whiskies (along
with scores) if you are indeed still a novice in the whisky world.
To anybody that hasn't tried at least a dozen different malts
by now I would like to say: you need some practice , so...
 
CLASS DISMISSED!

That will enable you to develop a frame of reference for the future.
After you've discovered what type of whisky you like, you can safely splash out a bit. And when you're splashing out, make sure not to
judge a book by its cover - and don't judge a bottle by its 'niceness'.
The bottle and label might be nice, but the whisky itself might not be.
So, some 'research' before running to the liquor store could be wise.

But apparently that 'amateur' status disqualifies me from spreading the good word - at least according to some people.
Just when I was halfway through my umpteenth revision of this guide, one of the other malt maniacs pointed me towards
a commercial website that contained some dire warnings about the efforts of hundreds of people like myself. It says:
'DO NOT believe everything that you read about scotch whisky - particularly on many of the websites on the internet which
are compiled by well intentioned amateur enthusiasts and which can contain glaring errors or "out of date" information.'

Well, you'll understand that such claims sting a little if you've spent thousands of hours on trying to build a website with
the best independent information about single malt whisky possible. And because the very first pages of Malt Madness
were published in 1995, some information is bound to be 'out of date'. I've take great efforts to ensure that information
in sections like this Beginner's Guide, the Distillery Data section and the mAlmanac is as up-to-date as possible, but with
hundreds of pages something may have slipped through. And the 'glaring errors' they mentioned had me worried as well.
So, I decided to invest the unfriendly price of 29,95 U$ Dollars - just to check my facts.

After all, the information provided in this 'Essential Guide to Scotch Whisky' was based
on 'personal experiences & insights of experts in the field' - so I might even learn something.
Well, that convinced me to order a copy immediately. Besides, if I ordered quickly I could
be one one the 100 people to receive the 'special must-have bonuses' - six whisky tasting
mats in PDF format with a value of 19,95 dollars. I was mostly curious about the identity
of those 'experts in the field' and what they could teach me, but I can't resist a nice bonus.

The eBook Review - What the...???

After I had completed the lengthy payment process I encountered my first nasty surprise. Because the 'special must have bonuses' were PDFs, I had assumed that the eBook itself would be a PDF as well - easy for printing so you can digest the information leisurely whilst on an airplane or the toilet - or even an airplane toilet. No such luck, I'm afraid - AFTER payment has been processed the download turns out to be an .exe file - which could contain all sorts of spyware and do things to my computer I wouldn't want. Needless to say, the software crashed a few times before I could read the guide - or at least I thought I could now read the guide... 

Not quite yet, I'm afraid... Before you can read the guide you have to sign a form that says 'I understand that by registring this eBook, I am giving Pagoda Graphics Ltd permission to contact me via e-mail from time to time with offers and information related to the content of this eBook.' And if you do NOT accept these conditions, you can't read the eBook you just paid 30 dollars for! Fortunately, I have a handful of spare e-mail addresses for situations just like these, so I registered under the alias 'Jonathan Dough' and proceeded. Finally, I could read my guide...

But first, why not take a quick look at those 'special must-have bonuses' - the six tasting mats with a value of 19,95 U$? I've received a few requests to offer downloadable tasting mats on Malt Madness in the past, but I usually responded with the advice to 'take a simple piece of paper and draw a few circles on them'. These tasting mats are a tad more elaborate that that, but I wouldn't pay three dollars for a mat like this - or any tasting mat for that matter... There were further disappointments in store concerning the tasting mats, but I will rant a little more about those in my (free) Liquid Log - Let's take a look at the guide itself now.

The first chapter deals with "The Top 100 Essential Scotch Whisky Facts".
Apparently, the facts below are 'must have knowledge' - I guess I risk copyright infringement by revealing these 'insights of experts in the field' ;-)

56 - In 2005 (worldwide whisky consumption) was 300 million liters of alcohol.
57 - The top export market by volume for Scotch whisky in 2005 was France.
58 - The top export market by value for Scotch whisky in 2005 was the USA.
59 - The top selling (blend brand) in 2004 was Johnnie Walker Red Label.
60 - The top selling (malt brand) in 2004 was Glenfiddich.

Fortunately, some of these 100 'essential facts' were more than a single line or paragraph, but overall I learned nothing new. And the first chapter is not just painfully short - a lot of 'essential facts' are repeated here and there. But let's proceed to chapter 2 now. Hrrmff...  even thinner, I'm afraid. A timeline of two pages that ends in 2000. Did they mention something about 'out of date' info? Chapter 3 offers little solace as well - the list of distilleries doesn't feature distilleries like Kilchoman and Glengyle that were started around 2005. Important silent stills like Brora are not covered either. Chapter 4 finally offered some real meat. A lot of actual information on the mashing and distillation process - but just a few lines about maturation at the end. Chapter 5 offers a pretty good explanation about nosing and tasting - things are starting to look up now... No major complaints about chapter 6 either - although especially here we find a lot of information that can be found elsewhere on the web as well.

All in all, I felt overwhelmingly disappointed after the whole experience.
Most information in the guide can be found on various (free) web sites as well
and if you feel like paying for an old fashioned book, there are many available
that offer more information for less money, like the Malt Whisky Yearbook 2007.

And as far as those 'experts' are concerned - none of them is actually identified.
From the looks of it only the last three chapters might have been written by 'experts in the field'. Compared to the first flimsy three chapters the second half of the book is fairly 'heavy', but even then I didn't feel '100% satisfied' as was suggested by the text on the web site;

We are so confident that the information included in this eBook is of such excellent value that we will provide a full refund to any customer who is
not satisfied up to 12 months after purchase. It should only take a few weeks to absorb the information which is clearly laid out in the eBook- and
to gauge the benefits that it provides as it opens up a whole new "vista" to the world of single malts and scotch whisky! However, we are giving you
52 weeks to decide - you can only win ! That's right, at anytime during the next 365 days, if you are not satisfied with the value of the information
provided in "The Essential Guide to Scotch Whisky" and the special bonus, we will refund your entire payment.

Well, I wouldn't say the eBook was entirely worthless, but I wasn't quite satisfied with the information either.
Compared to other books like the Malt Whisky Yearbook I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel the 'value' was 30 dollars or 15 pounds.
I felt that half of that amount would be a fair price, so I sent a message suggesting a 50% refund...
I haven't heard back yet but will update this stories if there are new developments.

UPDATE: The reply took some time to arrive, but after it did I actually received a 100% refund - even though I just asked for 50%.
So, that was a pleasant surprise after the initial disappointment of the e-book itself. As you may have gathered from the e-book review I felt quite emotional right after reading the 'essential guide' and I wanted to share my anger and disappointment with the rest of the world. However, I've now received my money back - just like they promised. That makes me a much happier person... What's more, with such a money back guarantee it suddenly becomes an e-book I could actually recommend! That way, people won't have to take my word for it but simply can decide for themselves if they felt the 'Essential Guide' was worth their hard earned cash.
You can check it out for yourself at: www.scotchwhiskyresources.com.

Meanwhile, I've started work on the ADVANCED BEGINNER'S GUIDE - which should knock your socks off...
Join the mailinglist if you want to receive a message by e-mail when the ABG will be available. Meanwhile, may I suggest that you check out the distillery information and tasting notes in the Distillery Data section, or the whisky recommendations in the mAlmanac.

Sweet drams,

Johannes van den Heuvel
Editor Malt Madness / Malt Maniacs
  

Take Cardhu, for instance. It comes in a wonderful kitschy bottle, but it isn't the best whisky
available for that kind of money. The bottles of Aberlour 10, Laphroaig 10 or Talisker 10 may
look fairly plain, but the whisky inside is great! So, don't be swayed by the looks of a sexy
bottle - you may find that the whisky inside doesn't have the character & sophistication you
had expected. In fact, instead of trusting your eyes, you'd better trust your nose & tongue.
After all, personal taste is still the main factor. All malt whisky is 'good' - but do you like it?

So - If you're still reading I assume that you are not an 'absolute beginner' anymore and tried a few (malt) whiskies already.
Excellent! And what's more, the fact that you're still reading proves that you'd like to learn more - just as I predicted in this guide ;-)
Well, in that case you've come to the right place. At least - if you trust information provided by 'well intentioned amateur enthusiasts'...

To cut a long story short: in the end this 'essential guide' did little more than inspire me
to start working on the Advanced Beginner's Guide in PDF, so you can print it if you want.
Read on if you want to know if I was satisfied with the 'Essential Guide to Scotch Whisky'.

Essential Guide to Scotch Whisky

Essential Guide to Scotch Whisky

Scotch malt whisky guide

Scotch whisky information