1492 (Submitted by: Flyboy Jones)
Your destroying your liver
just fine! 'The water of life' restores it though! I certainly can relate to your experience, in my young and poor days, I too got to sample some truly vile substances that called themselves whisky. The most unpleasant of these was
a blended (?) whiskey (note spelling, I don't buy whiskey anymore that is spelled with the 'e') dubiously named: 1492 the bottle advertised it: like having a whole liquor cabinet in one bottle. Now, that
actually may be true advertising, I have never mixed everything in a liqour cabinet and then tasted it, but I can imagine it tasting as disgusting as this stuff. Alastairs Gold Label
(Submitted by: Bosse Axelson)
I find more and more that the amount and quality of taste is
proportionally inverse to the amount of gold on the label. This is truly a Gold label! Angus McKay (Submitted by: J. House)
This one should be avoided: Angus McKay. The label has a lot of nonsense about "original blend", "from the
heart of Scotland" and "the full body and mellow smoothness of this exceptional product from the highland and islands of scotland. The logo has a thistle on it, and that's appropriate, given it's taste. It's original
concentrated and distilled thistle-juice, I think. (Yep, I know this one - we nicknamed it Anus McKay. It's bloody awful. - J.) Black & White (Submitted by: Ed Blom)
To be used in chemical
warfare. This must be Saddam's favourite. A real throat- stomach-, bellyburner as well as a true liver destroyer.
Bruichladdich (Submitted by: Cristophe Point)
I drunk last saturday a brulladadich ten or twelves years old.
Somebody said it was a islay whisky. I think it was a "pipi de chat".
Tanks for your web (twice).
(Christophe comes from France - where
they drink more whisky than cognac, incidentally. I very much agree Bruichladdich is the worst Islay - but the worst Islay is still beats most of the best blends - J.) Clan McGregor
(Submitted by: Jason 'S')
About the Loch Dhu, there are far worse. still I'll admit that the
wiskey is uneven, but only because it starts getting quite good as you get to the bottom... As for bad whiskey's try Clan MacGreggor, better yet try another Clan. Cutty Stark
(Submitted by: Jean-Marc Evrard)
Cuty Stark is amazing. We find it a lot in France. It's bottled
in a dark bottle, so you can't see it's clear as water. Well, probably because it was aged in a metal barrel. Never mind, it's a must to taste, 'cause after this you'll be able again to drink like other people, ie J&B and
William Lauson .... Thanks, Cuty Stark. Oh, by the way: don't drop it on your carpet. Drumguish (Submitted by: Werner Vogel)
I saw you mentioned the Drumguish 3 on your top 10 worst whiskies page.
You can never warn people enough for this gutter-stuff.
It really gives single malts a bad name (and a bad taste). Edradour
(Submitted by: Thomas Probst)
The worst single malt I've ever tasted is Etradour from a very small destillery near Glenlivet. But you can get a
quite funny guided tour through the distillery and you may also get offered a dram of their whisky. It tastes more like a single grain than a single malt. Just burns down your throat leaving nothing back than the impression how
whisky should NOT be. Four Roses
(Submitted by: Louis Perlman)
I hope that you don't have any of this is The Netherlands. (Unfortunately, we do... - J.)
American Whiskey is the roadkill of alchoholic beverages, consisting of rubbing alchohol, recycled antifreeze, and anything else that is laying around. Perhaps an
overstatement, but you get the idea. It is cheap, and it's adherents cant' tell the difference and never will. (Don't get me started on American
Whiskey. - J.) Glen Eden
(Submitted by: Dwight Gergens)
ALERT! DANGER, BAD SCOTCH! I have the best wife, and in her effort to make me happy spotted a bottle of Scotch at the store that I didn't have and bought it. It says single malt scotch whisky
on it. It says distilled and aged in Scotland, although there is no age statement. It says the purveyors of this fine pure malt scotch whisky is an independent family company now in its 4th generation. The sole US dist is L&L
Corp, imported and bottled for Glen Eden. And that's what it's called. GLEN EDEN. It tastes like Witch Hazel. You've been warned. Glen Eden
(2nd warning submitted by: Mike Avery)
Someone already commented upon Glen Eden, but it's hard too say too much about that puppy. One of my favorite liquor
stores is Twin Liquors in Austin, Texas. They have about 250 different single malts at last count, and the count keeps growing. They have decent prices, and are friendly too. A nice shop. One time when I was in there, I noticed
they had put their own review under the bottles of Glen Eden. It reads "BLAHGH!
This is without a doubt the worst liquor I have ever tasted. If it were a person it would be a red-headed stepchild you'd have to beat...
it's that bad. Flavors of rust, medicine, lymph, wet dog, mirth, deceit, and honey! Great gifts for mothers-in-law, IRS agents. Also handy for stripping metal. It's highly allocated, only 12 bottles, so grab one while
they last." The bottles they have are labelled as being 12 years old. I had bought a bottle elsewhere before I'd seen it there. I thought, "12 years old, single malt, only $15.00 - how bad can it be?" I found
out. Their review is actually fairly complimentary.
(This is what I call a Public Warning! I laughed my head off when I got it. - J.)
Glen Parker (Submitted by: Bosse Axelson)
Buying this Pure
Malt for a reasonable price duty-free on the ferry between Denmark and Germany, I thought I had made a bargain. The pungent odour that hit my sensitive nose when opening the bottle, made me change my mind. The smell was more that
of moon-shine than that of a good scotch whisky. The taste? Well - I guess you could help it a little with some Coke or 7-up. Haig
(Submitted by: Nick Leary)
No one should buy this because it's crap.
(Not very eloquently put, but I quite agree Haig isn't a very nice blend. - J) House of Stuart (Submitted by: Robert Montgomery)
At the bottom of my
list is "House of Stuart" (given to me by supposed "friends" on my birthday) which comes in a large plastic mouth-wash bottle. If there is any single malt in this it must be from spoiled casks! The best
thing that I can say about this one is that the bottle is recylcable. (Whisky in a plastic bottle??? What will they think of next... - J.)
Isle of Jura (Submitted by: Simon Godfrey)
My personal used bathwater gripe is Isle of Jura, which I wouldn't even use to power the lawn mower. (Yep, a bummer; especially considering it's an "Island" malt. - J.) Isle of Jura
(Second Warning submitted by: John DiMarco)
My whiskey warning is for Isle of Jura -- quite disappointing. It starts off well -- a mild
nose with a touch of peat; then a surprisingly complex though understated initial impact that's suggestive of flowers, perhaps. But then everything falls apart -- a strong, unpleasant aftertaste that overwhelms the
senses. Better with ice (not a compliment for a single malt) to help tame the dominant aftertaste. Even better avoided altogether. J&B
(Submitted by: Louis Perlman)
A truly vile drink is J&B. I don't know why anybody thinks it
is worth having around. It makes Red Label taste like Lagavulin, and I am not saying this as an exageration. Loch Dhu
(Submitted by: Iain Russell)
Loch Dhu is a "black whisky", which tastes of cough medicine. It is sticky (try leaving a drop in a glass and look at
what's left there in the morning - better still, leave it all in a glass and drink something else!). Also known as Loch Goo. Or Loch Doo Doo. Or Loch "Phew!" It makes me feel sick!" Rumours abound that it stains your
teeth. Loch Dhu (Second warning submitted by: Wendy Morgenstern)
"The black whisky" Throughly nasty stuff. Apparently (or so the bottle claims), they CHAR the inside of the barrels before casking to increase the smoky taste. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE peaty malts -
but there is a BIG difference between peaty and smoky. This stuff is like licking an ashtray. Took me a tube of toothpaste and a couple hours to get the taste of dead ashes out of my mouth. Despite my temptation
to pour the wretched stuff down the sink, I kept the bottle to display as a warning to others - and because I believe I could use it to stain wood. (I
usually use a glass of Glenlivet or Balvenie instead of toothpaste to recover from the occasional foul whisky. - J.) Loch Dhu (Third warning submitted by: Mats-Ola Ekberg)
Another warning about the Loch Dhu ... it contains so much caramel coloring it's scary. Put your finger in it - or better still
drop some of it on a white cloth - and you'll see how much it "rubs off". I would not even recommend it to my worst enemy... it's that nasty. Loch Dhu
(Fourth warning submitted by: Melissa Mabee)
Is there room for one more observation regarding
Loch Dhu? Stuck with a bottle of the Black Nasty I was never going to finish, I took it over to a friend's house one night.
He drank it like water--loves the stuff, he does. Perhaps I ought to add that he is a professional
chimney sweep, and smokes three packs of cigarettes a day... Loch Dhu
(Fifth warning submitted by: Julie & Doug Powers)
I hate to beat a dead horse, but my particular Loch Dhu story is worth relating, I think. I have a friend--ostensibly a fellow scotch drinker, who brought a bottle to
my house, thinking we might enjoy it. I didn't, but he actually did. Before the evening was out he was making - I'm not kidding - scotch floats with Loch Dhu and some Starbucks chocolate chip coffee ice cream. If you think this
concoction itself is revolting, you should have seen what it did to my lead crystal rocks glasses. I didn't think the syrupy caramel residue was EVER going to come off of them. So while I have no personal experience with the
earlier claim that the stuff can etch and stain your teeth, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. Loch Dhu (Sixth warning submitted by: David Means)
Having sampled a variety of single-malts over the past few years, I would like to warn fellow aficionados away from Loch Dhu. I
was at a hotel bar while vacationing in Scotland several years ago and ordered a glass of Loch Dhu on a whim. As soon as I nosed it I knew I had made a mistake, and asked for a water chaser. The bartender said "That's right, Sir.
It needs a spoonful or two of water to bring out the peat." What it really needed was to be poured down the nearest sink, but none was handy. Loch Dhu was the roughest, most unpleasant whisky I ever sampled. Even though I had paid
five pounds sterling (about US$8) I gave up after half a dozen sips and tried to rinse my mouth with the water. Sometimes, when I am downwind of an oil refinery working on some high-sulfur crude, it takes me back to my first whiff
of LD. That stuff caused me to restrict myself to Highland and Lowland malts that are at or above the age of consent (i.e. 16 years old -- 14 in Arkansas or Kentucky). Mc Lellands (Submitted by: Brian Griffin)
Mc Lellands Highland Single
Malt. A "generic" single that reminds one that blends aren't so bad after all. Resembles sickeningly sweetened paint thinner. I once poured a full glass down the sink, despite a firm belief in the Irish legend that on the
Day of Judgement you will be suspended head down in a barrel containing all the whisky you have ever spilled; and if you drown, then to Hell with you..... Mekong
(Submitted by: W. Reid Ripley)
Back when I was bucketing about the world's oceans with the
U.S. Navy, I ran across something pretty ferocious in a Bangkok hotel bar: Mekong Whisk/e/y -- I do not recall which spelling they used. I learned a life lesson from this experience: never drink anything that only
gets a lukewarm recommendation from an Australian infantryman! Mekong is burner fuel that's spent no time in a cask. Its raw nature suggests that some time in oak might help. If one is in a hurry, one might try
microwaving the oak -- I've heard well-nuked oak speeds the ageing process up enormously. Said infantryman recommended taking it with Coca-cola, which *does* help. A hip flask of the stuff cost, in Thai baht, the
eqivalent of thirty-five cents U.S. It is whiskey-colored, but we all know what caramel coloring can do. Can't attest to its hangover properties -- I quit before I went that far.
The infantryman didn't, I don't think.... Old Inverness
(Submitted by: Peter Bier)
NEVER, NEVER buy or drink Old Inverness. I bought it a couple of years ago in Scotland in a small supermarket, but it was surely a waste of money. I even like Drumguish and Loch Dhu more than
this bottle of blended horse-p*ss. Luckily I wasn't the only one with this view, all my friends agreed it was the worst whisky they'd ever tasted. We tried to mix it with cola, but even that was totally awfull to drink. I don't
know if it's available outside Scotland but avoid it at all cost!! Queen Margot (Submitted by: Ana Gonzalez)
This was a present from Margot Morris, a good friend of mine (at least I thougth so).
Not even she likes it. (I'm affraid I've never heard of any queen called Margot. What country was Queen Margot queening and what has she got to do with whisky? - J.)
Rob Roy (Submitted by: Victor Baars)
A text on the label;
"The whiskies that form this particularly fine blend have their own individuality and character, not unlike Rob Roy himself. A superb scotch blend to satisfy the demands of the most discriminating of connoisseurs." NOT!
Sheep Dip (Submitted by: Bill Buchan)
And to think you missed out "Sheep Dip" - the sole English whisky.
Sheep Dip by name, sheep dip by nature... Yeuchh..
(Well - They DID come up with quite a funny name, wouldn't you say so? - J.) Speyburn 10 yrs. (Submitted by: Keith Bourgeois)
This is one nasty whiskey. The smell of turpintine and the taste of shoe polish. Not enjoyable at all. The plastic cork should
have tipped me off. Avoid this one gents!
(Admittedly, the Speyburn is no top malt, but personally I didn't think it was the worst one I ever tasted. - J.)
Sullivan's Cove (Submitted by: Craig Daniels)
I concur with the posting of Loch Dhu, not because its particularly revolting but because the greedy sods
want $A100 for this advertising driven junk.
I haven't tried Drumguish (and am not in any hurry to do so) but my nomination for the PUBLIC WARNING: SERIOUSLY BAD SINGLE MALT (and it pains my basically chauvinistic heart) is the
new Aussie offering "Sullivan's Cove". It is bottled at somewhere between 2 & 3 years old and its yucky. Maybe it will be OK with 5 to 10 years in oak but I won't be paying to find out. I wonder if the owners know the
damage they inflict on their own reputation with serious connoisseurs when they release aqua ordinaire at a premium price. No palate, no integrity or simply cashflow problems. Take your pick.
Tobermory (Submitted by: Sarah Godfrey)
While Tobermory may be a fine name for a womble, as a whisky it should be avoided
at all costs. Tullibardine (Submitted by Christos Sigalas)
TULLIBARDINE 10 yrs. Single Malt. Try it (if you haven't yet). It's like licking Wembley's Arena green grass. Good only for
drunk hooligans. Also: FIVE LORDS Blended. Oh!Lord! Just another one of many cheap (both in price and quality) blends that exist.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -OBJECTIONS:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Subject: Public Whisky Warning Sheep Dip
Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2000
From: John DiMarco - jdd@cs.toronto.edu The warning
about "sheep dip" isn't warranted. Yes, it's a silly name. But clearly Mr. Buchan didn't even get close enough to a bottle to actually read what it said (no, "Sheep Dip" is not "the sole English whisky", it's a vatted highland malt that happens to be sponsored or patronized by a village in England; one would have thought that "Distilled and bottled in Scotland" would have given him a clue). As for how it tastes, it's actually quite good, given that it's only an eight-year old, though you'd never think so from the name. It's got a mild nose and a pleasant taste with a hint of plum, maybe. Not overly charactered, and the aftertaste is a bit spirity, but that's not surprising given its age. Not an outstanding whisky but it's not at all unpleasant.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Subject: Public Whisky Warning Tobermory
Date: Sun, 06 Feb 2000
From: David Strother - dstrother@pop.dn.net
TOBERMORY This very drinkable middle-of-the-road whisky does not deserve a place on a list of whiskys to be avoided, let alone "at all costs". Save that opprobrium for anything named McClelland! Tobermory is a pleasant, slightly peaty dram, suitable as an introduction to the path that leads
upwards to the joys of Oban, Talisker, and Lagavulin
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Subject: Old smuggler
Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2000
From: "R. Block"
reb@stic.net Just read the forum contribution about Old Smuggler - don't you believe it!
The old smuggler we have here is the same piss water you have
over there - 4 points on my scale. The only good thing that can be said about it is that it is incredibly cheap. Apparently it is a big seller here. Of course, so is Old No. 7.Richard Click HERE
to return to the sitemap.
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